#i listened to cigarettes after sex writting this 😭

[velvetcrimsonkisses]

Nanami had always wanted to go to Malaysia.

“What’s this?” Nanami's fingers invade the envelope, pulling out two plane tickets. “Plane tickets… to Malaysia,” You cheerfully respond to the man. Malaysia. Nanami’s dream destination. Nanami’s eyes fill with happiness at the sight of tickets. He had hoped that one day he would go and it was finally going to become reality. Thanks to you.

He could only imagine walking down the beach with you. Sand under his feet, the wind blowing through his hair, the warm sun touching his skin. Relaxation finally. His enthusiasm was contagious, child-like wonder in his eyes as he explained to you everything he wished to do which made you equally excited for this trip.

“You take care of everyone else besides yourself, so let me take care of you for once,” you explain as Nanami wraps his arms around you. Big strong arms that were the embodiment of protection, gentleness, and adoration. Not just for you but for everyone around him. Always putting everyone before him. The most selfless man you would ever meet. “Thank you,” a soft whisper from his lips flows into your ear.

You stand in the dark bedroom as your memory comes to an end. Your fingers tremble as you hold the tickets. Your eyes burning as warm tears stain your cheeks. These tickets were supposed to be an escape. An escape from everything around you. Just you and him. But he escaped first.

You feel your heart drop, as you realize the other things escaping you. His scent no longer filled the room, you could barely remember the sound of his voice, you couldn’t remember his soft touch anymore. And all you could was cry and cry till you couldn’t anymore. In his presence, the world took everything from him but his departure took everything from you. And in that one moment you can sympathize with him and you could only think about the comfort you brought him when he had nobody. The joy you brought him when he forgot how to be happy.

But you finally understood why he wouldn’t marry you, why he never wanted children even though he loved them, why he avoided any talk about the future. As much as you tried to understand him while he was alive, you understood too late. Nanami had come to terms with his mortality. It's the type of man he was. He would give his life in an instant. And he did. And you could only be thankful that you were loved by a man like that. Truly the perfect man.